So I’m afraid to say this out loud much less write it down…our beta test was last Saturday. By Friday I was basically beside myself with anxiety about the coming results. So anxious in fact that I had diarrhea (TMI) several mornings in a row…I never tested early with any of my past transfers, but I had a half day at work last Friday as it was Good Friday. I knew I would be home alone for a few hours to process whatever the results showed…and I also knew there was a Family Dollar on my direct path home.
I zipped in, shaking, and bought two tests…one digital and the other that shows the pink lines. I got home quickly and went straight upstairs to the bathroom. I had felt like I was having mild “symptoms” but we all know how cruel the side effects of estrogen and progesterone can be…so my hopes were realistic at best.
Pretty quickly, the test showed positive. As soon as I read that word (I took the digital test), I got up from the toilet, shed some tears and collapsed on the bed staring at it for several minutes in pure shock. I called the husband, asked him to come home for lunch and picked up his favorites from Chick-fil-A. I tucked the test in the bag of food (Yes! I put a stick I peed on near his food, ha!) and that’s where he found it.
It was a great moment and we felt happy and oh so grateful. I think deep down inside kinda knew. This 2WW had been different somehow, but I can’t really put my finger on it.
The very next day at 9dp5dt, I went for my beta test and the results came in…242! The nurse said that was a great number 🙂 so we were again grateful. The husband and my mom were immediately saying this is it! I was and am no where near that statement. I was to return to retest Monday morning at 11dp5dt. Monday it felt like we waited around all day for the results, but finally…573. Hallelujah. They wanted the number to double, and it more than doubled. Again, beyond grateful.
At that time we were told to continue meds: estradiol 3x daily, Crinone 2x daily, Progesterone vaginal suppository at bedtime. And return for 3rd beta on Monday, 04/24, which is finally right around the corner.
Since the last beta, I have been a ball of nerves. I have had more diarrhea, but I think it’s finally settling. I have felt pinches and twinges here and there in the lower abdominal area…I’m assuming in my uterus. I’ve also had intermittent breast tenderness. These things come and go…and when they go, I’ve allowed panic and PTSD to settle in against my better judgment.
I don’t really believe any of this could actually be real.
Now onto the scare. Today at work I went to the restroom, where all the horror stories start! I’ve been wearing panty liners 24/7 due to all the vaginal meds I’ve been on. At any rate I quickly noticed what looked like dark reddish brownish flecks on the liner and the tissue. It made my heart skip a beat but when I took a closer look and accepted that this was not normal spotting at all, I was able to breathe. And whatever it was, there wasn’t too much of it.
As soon as I returned to my office I quietly closed the door and called the nurse. I left a voice mail which she returned within 5 minutes. Thank you God for her speed. She explained that the Crinone which is inserted with an applicator can cause vaginal irritation and can evidently aggravate your cervix, too. I won’t go into quite the level of detail here, but she knew exactly what I meant by the flecks I saw. She explained that she wasn’t worried at all, but to increase my water intake as it could also be a sign of dehydration. She said she didn’t expect to hear back from me this weekend. She was so very reassuring. Bless her.
I hung up and immediately called the husband to give him the news. We are both okay but also both on high alert. I’m in that fun phase where I feel the need to check my underwear every 20 minutes…God.
I mostly feel like things are okay, but the fear creeps in. And it’s still so very early. I will feel briefly reassured if Monday’s beta test is good. I’m told they want to see the numbers over 1000. Has anyone else had this sort of experience with Crinone? I feel like I’m having a bit of very mild burning down there too…not when I urinate, but right now while I’m lying in bed. This happened one evening earlier in the week but then it passed by the morning. I was worried about a potential UTI, but I read that burning can be another side effect of this med as well. God only knows…
So that’s where we are. I don’t know when or how to believe any of this. But we will continue to pray like nobody’s business for all of us walking through I-Want-A-Baby-Land.